Return From Intermission (Smart Women, Bad Choices)
Hey, hockey fans! I'm sorry it's been a long time since I posted. I had a minor personal matter of major proportions to take care of. The zamboni has finished resurfacing the ice, and talk of an imminent agreement between the players and the owners is in the air. So, let's get back to it!
My post today is about Jennifer Garner. More specifically, it's about Jennifer Garner and her utterly baffling infatuation with Ben Affleck. Jennifer Garner is one of the most talented, attractive actors working today. She's pretty, athletic, and VERY sexy. Her career seems to be going places. Even though she played cute and perky very well in "13 Going On 30", she seems to have done enough rough stuff (between "Alias" and "Daredevil" and its sequel, "Elektra") to avoid becoming the next Meg Ryan (Ryan, of course, did cute and perky better than anyone for years AND THEN tried to choose roles that were more gritty in order to break out of that mold, and it just doesn't work that way). She jettisoned her clingy, jealous-of-her-success husband (whose name escapes me) when she began to make it big. She then reportedly began (or continued, depending on what you read) a romance with her "Alias" costar, Michael Vartan.
Vartan is, by all accounts, a good guy. He was supportive, respectful of her, solid, and mature. He seems to be on the verge of carving out a respectable career as The Nice Guy, The Guy Who Never Gets The Girl but who is maybe The Best Buddy Of The Guy Who Gets The Girl, and The Trusted Friend Of The Girl, The One She Can Always Count On When The Other Guy Breaks Her Heart. In other words, the new Bill Pullman.
So naturally, Garner dumped Vartan for a Bad Boy, Ben Affleck. Why she thought this would be a good idea in either a personal or professional sense is way beyond me. Let's run down the short list of Ben Affleck's shortcomings, shall we?
1. Name the last really good movie he was in. I'd MAYBE concede "Pearl Harbor" if you held a gun to my head, but I think you'd need to go all the way back to "Good Will Hunting" in 1997.
2. Name the last high-grossing, blockbuster movie he's starred in (crickets chirp).
3. Name the last Oscar-winning (or even Oscar-nominated) script he's written or co-written. Right. GWH again.
4. Nearly married Jennifer Lopez, perhaps the most overrated and overexposed singer/actor of her generation. I thought they made a good pair, actually.
5. "Gigli"
6. "Surviving Christmas"
7. "Jersey Girl"
8. Has a slight gambling addiction.
9. Is a heavy smoker (how can ultra-healthy Garner stand that?)
10. Seems slightly commitment-phobic.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point. The only real success this supreme poseur has ever enjoyed came from riding Matt Damon's coattails, which are not what they used to be. This guy must have a great deal of personal charm and charisma in order to fool these women into thinking that he's such a great catch. He wouldn't have to have TOO much personal charisma to have more charisma than he does on-screen. He's a chump actor. The new Charlie Sheen.
Maybe people close to Garner have attempted to point these things out to her. Maybe not. Some people go through life seeing just what they want to see. I'm sure she would say that he's really a nice person, and that anyone who's critical of him just doesn't know him. I don't really know him, obviously, but sometimes people who are detached and objective can see things a lot more clearly from their perspectives than people who are in the middle of an infatuation and blinded by the newness of the relationship. I'm sure it's fun and intoxicating being a Bad Girl when she's been a Good Girl her whole life. It's a chance to play a different role, to break the rules and break out of the mold. Affleck's a bit of a cad, a little dangerous, and in no way what would be seen as a "typical" choice for her. He's probably everything Michael Vartan is not. Maybe that appeals to her at this point in her life. And now, she's supposedly pregnant. Oh, well. He probably makes her happy. Isn't that really the most important thing?
She can have him. Good luck, Jennifer. You'll need it. I give it six months, tops.
Cheers!
My post today is about Jennifer Garner. More specifically, it's about Jennifer Garner and her utterly baffling infatuation with Ben Affleck. Jennifer Garner is one of the most talented, attractive actors working today. She's pretty, athletic, and VERY sexy. Her career seems to be going places. Even though she played cute and perky very well in "13 Going On 30", she seems to have done enough rough stuff (between "Alias" and "Daredevil" and its sequel, "Elektra") to avoid becoming the next Meg Ryan (Ryan, of course, did cute and perky better than anyone for years AND THEN tried to choose roles that were more gritty in order to break out of that mold, and it just doesn't work that way). She jettisoned her clingy, jealous-of-her-success husband (whose name escapes me) when she began to make it big. She then reportedly began (or continued, depending on what you read) a romance with her "Alias" costar, Michael Vartan.
Vartan is, by all accounts, a good guy. He was supportive, respectful of her, solid, and mature. He seems to be on the verge of carving out a respectable career as The Nice Guy, The Guy Who Never Gets The Girl but who is maybe The Best Buddy Of The Guy Who Gets The Girl, and The Trusted Friend Of The Girl, The One She Can Always Count On When The Other Guy Breaks Her Heart. In other words, the new Bill Pullman.
So naturally, Garner dumped Vartan for a Bad Boy, Ben Affleck. Why she thought this would be a good idea in either a personal or professional sense is way beyond me. Let's run down the short list of Ben Affleck's shortcomings, shall we?
1. Name the last really good movie he was in. I'd MAYBE concede "Pearl Harbor" if you held a gun to my head, but I think you'd need to go all the way back to "Good Will Hunting" in 1997.
2. Name the last high-grossing, blockbuster movie he's starred in (crickets chirp).
3. Name the last Oscar-winning (or even Oscar-nominated) script he's written or co-written. Right. GWH again.
4. Nearly married Jennifer Lopez, perhaps the most overrated and overexposed singer/actor of her generation. I thought they made a good pair, actually.
5. "Gigli"
6. "Surviving Christmas"
7. "Jersey Girl"
8. Has a slight gambling addiction.
9. Is a heavy smoker (how can ultra-healthy Garner stand that?)
10. Seems slightly commitment-phobic.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point. The only real success this supreme poseur has ever enjoyed came from riding Matt Damon's coattails, which are not what they used to be. This guy must have a great deal of personal charm and charisma in order to fool these women into thinking that he's such a great catch. He wouldn't have to have TOO much personal charisma to have more charisma than he does on-screen. He's a chump actor. The new Charlie Sheen.
Maybe people close to Garner have attempted to point these things out to her. Maybe not. Some people go through life seeing just what they want to see. I'm sure she would say that he's really a nice person, and that anyone who's critical of him just doesn't know him. I don't really know him, obviously, but sometimes people who are detached and objective can see things a lot more clearly from their perspectives than people who are in the middle of an infatuation and blinded by the newness of the relationship. I'm sure it's fun and intoxicating being a Bad Girl when she's been a Good Girl her whole life. It's a chance to play a different role, to break the rules and break out of the mold. Affleck's a bit of a cad, a little dangerous, and in no way what would be seen as a "typical" choice for her. He's probably everything Michael Vartan is not. Maybe that appeals to her at this point in her life. And now, she's supposedly pregnant. Oh, well. He probably makes her happy. Isn't that really the most important thing?
She can have him. Good luck, Jennifer. You'll need it. I give it six months, tops.
Cheers!
posted by Dave at 8:17 AM
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